another week

Well this week has been pretty decent. I went like a week without taking my nausea pills or puking. Then I ate some chili with tomato sauce in it. I realized that tomato sauce makes me sooo sick. Pizza, pasta dishes, and that chili have been the most painful sick nights for me. So I'm staying clear of it because I refuse to take those pills again. They make me too sleepy and non-functional.

Work is work. I found out that we don't have a maternity leave program because we're such a small company. So I'm looking into buying a maternity plan from Aflac to supplement. Then I realized wait a minute. I spend AT LEAST an extra 20 hours on my time sheet. I had 119 hours last payroll and still, like every payroll I have to put only 80 hours. My PT designer was hired to do 20 hours. She charges 74 hours. I'm like HELL NO!! I told my boss that their are 3 options.
1. Let me accrue all of my extra hours towards my maternity leave
2. Let me only work 4 days a week
3. Or nothing will get done on time

That's it. I'm tired of working so much for free just to meet deadlines.

On the home front things are getting better somewhat. My DH got a new job at the airport and plans to join the police force this winter. My M.I.L. and my mom can't wait to each throw me a separate baby shower in NYC and VA. My mom is buying this fabulous crib. Everything has to be new in their eyes. "No passed on germs" is the theory. I'm 15 weeks and can't wait to find out the sex next month. I'm going through second hand "baby mama drama". My bonus son (i don't say step-son anymore) may not come for the summer. His mom hasn't let my DH speak to him in almost a month. That's the wrap up in my world.

14 weeks now

Major back pain, and nausea. That's all my world is...yeah pretty much.

sigh

I'm exhausted more than words can describe. I'm officially taking a break from reality. Can I say that I had to go back and edit my post after reading all of your posts on my blogroll for the first time in forever!! I feel so bad for feeling so lousy for my own problems if that makes sense. Some of you got BFN's lately and I hurt for you. I remember feeling the same way before actually getting pregnant and feeling the way that I do now. It just sucks. Some of you got a BFP lately. Congrats to you and I hope that you can enjoy it.

I feel as though I'm not enjoying being pregnant at all yet due to my circumstances. I just hope that God blesses all of you with whatever you wish for.

well

Hi people. Nothing much to report on my end. I am now 13 weeks officially on Friday. I've been on bed rest because I've been spotting for at least a week. All tests came back fine, and my cervix wasn't too short as the doctor assumed. So I've been taking it easy, but of course working from home. 9 projects, 3 due in 2 weeks and an asshole co-worker has kept me busy. I'm supposed to rest the rest of the week but I'm going into the office for the rest of the week. When you don't have a presence in the office people tend to forget that what they're priorities.

Personally, I'm not doing so well. Just a little bummed out. I feel so lonely. I have no one to relate to, especially now that I'm pregnant. My friends are usually M.I.A. I quit freelancing and that lasted a good 4 days. All I do is work in the day, spend time with Kayla and look for more freelance clients at night. I'm always sleepy, and puking. The nausea pills stopped working but I haven't thrown up since Sunday so I guess that's a good thing.

I just feel so depressed. I feel like I went through so much to finally get pregnant and now that I am I can't enjoy it at all. All I do is work and worry. Kayla makes me laugh and DH tries to make me feel better by doing all of the housework, and catering to me basically. Still no luck on his job hunt. I actually told him that although we have a family, he'll have to leave by June if he isn't working. I don't know if that's the right thing to do or not, but I can't take care of 2 kids and 2 adults on my own. I have to save money. He's hurt by it because he's trying so hard to get a job.

Instead of thinking about a nursery I keep thinking about how I have to sign final papers by Thursday to renew my lease in this crappy apt (which by the way is only crappy due to my trifling neighbors), how I'll have no nursery for the baby, and how everything pretty much sucks. I canceled my hair and nail appointment which was a gift to myself of course for Mother's Day to take my mom to the spa, pay the bills, and buy my MIL a gift.

I can't do anything for myself until June..big shock. Anyways just my rant of unhappiness. I hope that it gets better.

everything is everything

I have a med for my nausea since I have been puking up my lunch for days. I have a med for my sprained shoulder also. Between meds, and naps I'm pretty much summed up these days. I've had an out pour of nice comments and e-mails since I showed everyone how I look prego. My friends are blown away and happy. My mom can't wait to find out the sex of the baby but I am not going to tell anyone what the sex is. So mommy is pist. My work is crazy. The president told me that I have to do print ads from now on. Needless to say that the print manager is already pist that this web designer has been "taking' his projects. But my pres keeps choosing my print work over his. Don't know what to do about that.

It's been a good weekend thus far, just wanted to check in and say 'hey". On to continue a good weekend!

10 weeks preggers and showing hugely!!

hmmm

No title ladies. I'm home sick this evening, and I had to catch up on some work so I thought that I'd check in. I had to leave work early because I felt so sick. The migraines have been hitting me for like 3 days now but now I'm constipated, with a fever too. The doc said to keep taking Tylenol, drink plenty of water, and get some rest. so I'm taking off tomorrow. I won't even work i promise.

So get this, i finally saw my best friend. yes the one I've been avoiding. I last saw her in November for my b'day. Well Iended up canceling lunch on Saturday and she calls me in distress that he debit card isn't working, her car has no gas, and she can't make it home. So of course I take her to get gas, and she spends 2 hours talking to me about her boyfriend. Yes she noticed that I was pregnant but it didn't phase her.

Well to summarize i finally got pist. I can't remember a visit that i didn't end up buying her something (even my b'day), or running to bail her out of something. Plus she always spends the whole visit talking about her boyfriend, even when they are broken up..literally!! You can't get a word in. i was pist. I said i had enough. So today our "click" e-mailed about going to an amusement park together in may. I told my bf that i wasn't going because i was sick of her being so self involved in this friendship. iItold her that not once had she ever asked "how was I doing?" i said that i have to take her in doses and would rather not see her until after the summer but I love her.

To my surprise she wrote me a very heartfelt apology. A long letter about appreciating me as a friend for so long and apologizing and saying she'll act more like a friend and sister. I was shocked, and I cried. I always say that you fight with your friends and you can tell who's really a friend if they try to make a mense and work it out. We all have faults and mess up but I am so happy that I said what i had to say and we're even closer now. All is well in my world still. 10 weeks pregnant and counting..